Murphy’s Military Laws
- Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you are.
- No battle plan ever survives contact with the enemy.
- Friendly fire ain’t.
- The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map.
- The problem with taking the easy way out is that the enemy has already mined it.
- The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.
- The further you are in advance of your own positions, the more likely your artillery will shoot short.
- Incoming fire has the right of way.
- If your advance is going well, you are walking into an ambush.
- The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.
- If you really need an officer in a hurry, take a nap.
- The only time suppressive fire works is when it is used on abandoned positions.
- The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
- There is nothing more satisfying that having someone take a shot at you, and miss.
- Don’t be conspicuous. In the combat zone, it draws fire. Out of the combat zone, it draws sergeants.
- If your sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.
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