Signs You are Growing Old
Hand me the Metamucil and turn down that racket.
Carpentology
You got anything on that remote lower than Mute?
Shit Smacking Hall of Fame
The Shit Smacking Hall of Fame is a tradition that I needed to revive. It is a tradition that Mike and I started in college. It basically comes down to this: Stupid people need the shit smacked out of them. Now there are stupid people everywhere, but remember that this is the Hall of Fame, the worst of the worst.
A typical Shit Smacking Hall of Fame member will remain on the list for a year. There are exceptions, however. Home Depot has remained on the top of the list for the last five years running. This time around, I gave everyone (except Home Depot) a clean slate.
The businesses on the Shit Smacking Hall of Fame will remain on my boycott list for a year. The individuals that make the list will remain until they redeem themselves, so they will likely remain indefinitely. Other organizations (i.e. groups, websites, etc.) will remain on the list for one year as I have no intention of affording them the opportunity to redeem themselves.
Is this fair? Absolutely! You never know who you are dealing with in life. They may be keeping a list, and maybe not.
When I was in college, during my student teaching, my cooperating teacher told me to always speak well of people, especially when I am talking to people that I do not know well. It seems that earlier in her career that she was in the teacher’s lounge and made a not-so-complimentary comment about a student. As it turns out, within earshot was the student’s uncle. This comment made its way back to the parents and eventually to the school administration.
Treat everyone as though they are keeping a list.
In Loving Memory of Aunt Debbie
Deborah J. Montgomery, 59, of Jerusalem Twp., OH passed away peacefully Friday, September 8, 2006, at the Medical University of Ohio. She was born July 21, 1947, in Fairmount, WV to Clarence and Betty Gump. A devout Christian she was active in various church activities which included, Sunday School Teacher, Jr. Church, Puppet Theater, School Librarian and Church Mission work. Deborah is survived by her loving husband, of 39 years, John; children, Faith E. (Andrew) Furtney, Russell K. (Melissa) Montgomery and Lillie A. Montgomery; grandchildren, Rana Daye, Tasha Rose, Amos and Christa Joy Furtney and one on the way. She is also survived by her father, Clarence Gump and siblings, David Gump, [Rebekah] Carpenter and Amy Fitkin. Friends may visit Freck Funeral Chapel, Wynn at Pickle Rd. (419) 693-9304, Monday, September 11, 2006, from 2-9 p.m. Funeral services will be held Tuesday at 4 p.m. in the Christ Community Church, 303 W. 4th St. Genoa, OH where friends will be received one hour prior to service. Burial will take place in Union Dale Cemetery in Pittsburgh, PA. Memorial contributions may be made to the Community Christian Academy c/o Christ Community Church.